Week Four

The Good:
#1 On Thursday, before back to school night, a student from my 5th period class (Juan) came into my classroom to talk about his grade in my class. At the time, he was failing my class, primarily because he was missing six assignments (including a piece of mastery work -- a category which makes up 45% of my students' grades). Juan wanted to know what he could do to raise his grade. I told that he had to do his homework and make more of an effort to participate in class. Then, he asked if he could make up any of his assignments. I reminded him that he could only make up the piece of mastery work because the senior teachers have a policy of NOT accepting any late classwork and/or homework. He agreed to complete the piece of mastery work -- a short letter where I ask my students to introduce themselves to me. I told him that if the letter was not on my desk by Monday morning, I would not accept it. We agreed to those terms.

I was surprised to find his letter on my desk the following morning. It was almost 2.5 pages long. Although it was full of grammatical and typographical errors, the letter did paint a well-rounded picture of who he is as a students and a young man. I learned that he wants to become either a history teacher or a lawyer. I also learned that he enjoy snowmobiling and hanging out on his uncle's ranch with his cousins. Then, I arrived at the final paragraph of his letter, which reads:

"I really want you to know that you seem like a nice person, and I just want to apologize for not trying in your class. It's going to change. I can be one of your best students, and I want you to consider me as the kid who is a good writer and can impress anyone, not the kid who distracts other students and takes away learning time. I also want to you to know that I consider myself a leader among my peers, and I will do everything in my power to get people [to listen to you] because I feel like your intellect is suppressed because you're a new teacher and the students want to get over you. As the teacher, take authority in your classroom and make your voice stronger, and everyone will listen to you. Overall, you're a pretty cool teacher."

Wow! It's pretty amazing when your students surprise you -- when you realize that they are much deeper and more compassionate than you gave them credit for. I told Juan that I was going to hold him accountable for the promises that he made. But, I also promised him that if he approached our class in this new way, then he would improve as a writer; I'd make sure of it!

Furthermore, his letter allowed me to approach the classroom and my students with much more confidence. I did "make my voice stronger" because I have a lot to teach and share from my students. While I know that I have a lot of skills and strategies to teach my students, this week I learned more from them than they probably learned from me... Thanks, Juan!

#2 I approached Bianca and Maria on Thursday and asked them if they would consider helping me with my thesis research. This last week, I began considering a thesis question that I'm VERY interested in pursuing: How do your relationships with students change when you are their teacher AND their coach? Bianca and Maria are seniors who are in my Introduction to College Writing class (where I am their teacher) and my young women's empowerment group, RAW (where I am their coach). With these two young women especially I began to notice a change in our relationship in the classroom after two meetings of RAW. They participated in class more; they asked more me more specific one on one questions; they opened up to me more in their writing.

When I approached them about helping me with my research of Thursday, they were very enthusiastic to help. In fact, I feel comfortable calling them eager. I told them that it would involve meeting me with outside of class. And, they agreed!

About thirty minutes after I talked to them about possibly being my "case study students," (pending approval from my thesis coordinator), the girls came looking for me. Maria needed to talk about something that she wrote in her letter. In that letter, she had told me that there were girls in the class that she didn't get along with, which made her very nervous about my class. However, she didn't explain the issue or tell me who the girls were. When she came looking for me, she told me that she wanted me to understand the issue better, so she told me parts of the story. I was surprised by her honest; she trusted me. Did this leap of faith come from my extension of trust (asking them to help me with my research)? The timing is just too weird to deny some sort of correlation...

Then, on Friday, Bianca asked me to read her "This I Believe" essay. In it, she revealed some very personal information about her family -- her mother especially. In our discussion about revision, I challenged her to reveal even more about her past in order to strengthen the essay and draw the reader in. My probing questions gave her the opportunity to share a lot about herself to me, which she did. I also wondered where her trust came from and how I earned it so quickly. It must have something to do with the way that she sees me now -- as a teacher, a coach, AND a fellow student.

The Bad:
I learned this week (partly through the aforementioned conversation with Maria) that there is a great deal of animosity between the young ladies in my 6th period writing class. On Monday, I had to send Rachelle to the office because she refused to work with the writing group I assigned her to work with. I had to give her an ultimatum: work with the writing group I asked you to work with or go to the office. I know that those choices seem harsh, but I am TRYING to establish my authority in the classroom, so little things like this MATTER! Anyway, Rachelle chose to go to the office. After class, I asked her why she made that choice, and she explained that she couldn't work with that group because it was "NEXT TO" a girl that she didn't get along with. As immature as the situation seemed to me, I could tell that Rachelle really didn't feel safe sitting next to the young lady that she was talking about.

Last night, I received two emails from two of my other female students in my 6th period class. The catalyst for these emails was that fact that I told the class that we would be moving into new writing groups when the new marking period commences. Lucero and Jamie wanted me to consider NOT putting them in a group with three girls that they "have drama with." They explained that they wanted me consider this seating arrangement because they did not want to disrupt the classroom community that I am trying to create...

I have a feeling this whole thing is going to blow up in my face....

The Ugly:
I had a GREAT day with my 5th period class on Friday. We worked hard; we accomplished all of the tasks that I set for us; and, we laughed together (because I saw a mouse and freaked out!). My "high" was ruined when Roxanne, a young woman from my 6th period class, came in for a reason that is still unbeknownst to me. She was talking with a couple of students in the back of the room and clearly distracting them from the task at hand, so I went toward them to see why Roxanne was there. As I came close, Roxanne said, "I can't believe you guys get to have fun in this class. When I'm here, it's hell. I seriously hate it." Then, she turned around, looked right at me, and left the classroom. I tried my best not to let her words affect me, but (in truth) they pierced my heart. Quickly, I turned around and went to work with another student who had a question; I let the moment past and instead focused on what was (and IS) more important -- my students who wanted and needed my assistance.

I know that teachers are supposed to focus on the good in their students. But, right now, I can't seem to move past Rachelle's cruelty. I know that I'll be fine by Monday.... It's a little thing called "teacher amnesia."