Week One

The good:

1) One of my 9th grade students from last year (now a 10th grader) came into my classroom after a long day to say hi. Jessica had questions about the after school program that I am coaching, Journalism. She wanted to know if she could still join the program because she missed me and wanted to spend more time "learning from me." I answered her questions and told her that I would be honored if she would join my program. I wish that I had told her that I wanted her in my program so that I could learn more from her. At only 15 years old, I am awestruck by her resilience, responsibility, and self-advocacy. She came into my class the following day at lunch to confirm that I had remembered to sign her up for my class. I told her that I did and that we would begin our study of journalism the following Thursday. She left with a smile and said, "Thanks, Miss Oliver."

2) One of my 9th grade students (Jacob) saw me on the first day school. I heard a LOUD, "Miss Oliver!" I looked up to see Jacob running toward me, looking for a hug. I am so excited to watch Jacob continue to develop this year.

3) In the senior writing classes that I am teaching this year, I asked my students to take a piece of paper and write 1) What they are most excited about as they begin their senior year of high school, 2) What they are most nervous about as they begin their senior year of high school, 3) Any questions that they have for me. Very few of my students actually took the opportunity to ask me questions. However, one student asked me to tell the class about my "proudest moment." I honored her request and told my students about my trek to Machu Picchu. I told them about watching the sun rise on the gray stone; I told them how my heart expanded with pride as I walked on a path that had been paved so many years ago. I told them how honored I was to be there with my dad, the man I look up to the most. They listened; they really listened. I could tell because they gave me eye contact and their side conversations stopped. I was honest with them, and I think they appreciated my candor. I hope that my initial "leap of faith" will show them our classroom is a safe place where they can take risks, be candid, and open their hearts to me and to one another. 

4) First, see "the ugly" story. Two of my colleagues, Amy and Clara, took the time to ask me how my day had been. I broke down and cried as I explained what had just happened. They offered their advice and shared some similar stories, but mostly they just listened to me. Teachers often complain of feeling isolated, and I realized that may never be one of my complaints at Excel High School (****pseudonym***) because I work at a place where teachers take the time to care about each other. We are in this together, after all.     

The bad:

I am really struggling with classroom management. I feel like the phrase I say the most in my classroom is, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?" I must say it about 20-30 times a period. I also have a bell to help me get my students attention. And, I use the lights as an attention-getting tool. I designed activities where the class would collaboratively design classroom expectations together and gave them the space to VOTE on our classroom expectations for the year so that would feel like they "chose in" to our class rules. But, I feel like my work is falling short.

Perhaps I need to be more stern, but it is not in my character to be a harsh, classroom dictator. And, I worry about being inauthentic in my classroom. But, I am struggling, so I am going to have to do something different. 

My mentor teacher, Sylvia Barrett, promised to come observe my classes next week. I am certain that she will offer me valuable feedback. Until then, I am going to continue reminding my classes of the classroom expectations that we co-created and to lead by example.

The ugly:

This week I witnessed young adults being cruel to each other. And, I found my limit as to what I could handle. One of my female students (Lucero) told one of my Asian, male students (John -- a young man who also happen to have a specific learning disability) to "go back to China." I sent her out of the classroom with a stern, "Get out, now!" I had never sent a student out of the classroom like that, and I tried my best to hide my shaking hands and quivering lip as she passed me. After she left, I told my class that I would not tolerate my students treating each other my disrespect in our classroom. I said, "I am prepared for you to treat me with disrespect from time and time, and we will deal with those moments as they come. However, I will NEVER tolerate you treating each other with blatant cruelty and disrespect." My students remained silent for the remainder of the period. When they all left, I cried.

Note: Lucero wrote me an email that night, apologizing for her actions. She requested a private meeting with me to discuss the day's events. When I wrote back, I applauded the courage that it must have taken her write to me and explained that I would be pleased to meet with her when we returned to school after the long weekend. I hope that we are able to arrive to a place of mutual understanding about how to keep our classroom a safe place for all of us.